Meall nan Eun, Stob Coir an Albannaich and Glas Bheinn Mhor

It was that bugger Kinley's fault. Here I was halfway up a mountain on a Friday night, drinking Talisker, afraid to go out of my tent and pee because of the driving rain and wind at 500m. Did I mention there were views only of my feet, shrivelled genitalia and clag? Where were the clear skies and amazing sunset? I'd seen it often enough on Kinley's reports on www.WalkHighlands.co.uk and I wanted the Kinley experience! Was I the anti-Kinley? He was the epitome of the ultimate high camp - I was the epitome of drizzle. He must be a demon on photo-shop, I thought. I settled down for the evening and attempted to get some sleep on a sloping mound (Lon Tubhaidh) a few clicks N of Stob Coir an Albannaich, my 2nd objective for hopefully a better day tomorrow. Curlywurly was settled down for the evening in his tent, watching a film on his IPhone. Lucky basa. We agreed a 0600 start would be good and we would make a decision then to either descend or go with our intended route of doing Meall nan Eun, Stob Coir an Albannaich, then Glas Bheinn Mhor. I dozed off at 2230 and after a few hours sleep awoke at 2303. Oh, give me a break! I must have been lucky if I got 2 hours kip - I consoled myself with nothing except the fact that I was probably warming a few worms up. The minutes ticked by. My arse was numb. However, at 0500 I peeped out of the tent and saw that we had VIEWS! Breakfast down, tents packed we got the blood going and a quick look up to SCanA provided hope for the day ahead.

With a good starting point, we were up on to the bealach between Meall Odhar and Meall nan Eun in no-time and the latter peaked out with the cloud clearing. Kinley's no a bad chap efter a'. By 0715, we had bagged Meall Nan Eun and our 2nd hill of the day looked quite spectacular but it would be a sod to go over the Corbett Top of Meall Tarsuinn, down and then back up SCaA. However, the cloud was really lifting and Curlywurly and I really began to enjoy our day. Quite an awkward trek over to the 2nd Munro and in bad conditions, it would be easy to get lost. Once on to the main ridge, we were wowed by what looked like a conical peak which you couldn't appreciate from the climb up from the other side. By this point, Bidean looked stunning in the distance and there was a considerable amount of snow still on it. However, If I'm being honest (and it seems that I am) I was beginning to tire already with the heavy pack on my back, Jack. The last pull up on to the 2nd Munro of the day was tough and I was glad to get the main bulk of ascent done. How was Curlywurly doing? Having just done a Munromarathon a couple of weeks before, I knew he was fitter than me - that kind of thing can be psychologically difficult to contend with. Must keep going though - must think Russian, must think Kinley... . We didn't stop for long and began the awkward descent (due to fresh snow) off SCanA down to the bealach before Glas Bheinn Mhor - it looked quite cracking and so did Ben Starav in the distance - Curlywurly was delighted with what Glen Etive had to offer as it had been his first time down here and he would be back to bag that big boy. Alliteration on Albannaich? Get the hill outta here! As we started ascending GBM, I became concerned that I was really going to struggle with this but we had a good pace and before we long, we were up on the ridge - at this point, we spoke about work and all those work-shy buggers who make your working life a misery - why can't these people be given their marching orders straight off Ben Nevis? Twa old codgers, we were. I remember being downt mine... However, we bagged our 3rd hill of the day and made plans for a descent by the Allt Nam Meirleach - initially a brilliant path but it does get boggy further down. A wee Scotty dog seemed to take a liking to Darren and would have followed him back if it wasn't for the fact that his companion smelled like a rotten cabbage - I was honking! Well, I don't mind saying but by this point I was really running on fumes. Did I mention I was buggered? Darren seemed quite tired too so in a strange way, I didn't feel so bad. A little bit of schadenfreude never hurt anyone. As we approached the cottage at Coiletir, we saw a sign telling us to ascend by a fence around the cottage - we were less than happy as we were both exhausted but we battered on and with some relief, got back to the car just in time to find out that Man U had won - Darren was happy. I was totally fooked. However, looking back today, I did thoroughly enjoy myself and a wild camp is an ideal way to start the day - maybe Kinley has something after all...sure Kenneth Williams would have approved - oh, Matron!

Blasted on Bynack More

I was going to write a separate post on this but feel that Graeme has done this excellent testimony to the various hill-crimes perpetrated yesterday.

http://www.walkhighlands.co.uk/Forum/viewtopic.php?f=9&t=4023

I do recall asking Graeme as we entered the snow-line "How's your hill-sense?" We both agreed it was pretty good. The climb up to the summit was a lot steeper than I had envisaged. Add to this, a ferocious wind, coruscating snow and hail and we were lucky if we waited 30 seconds at the summit. However, gone were the wrinkles on my face - in fact, gone was my face. I felt at one point that it was being ripped off by tiny needles being driven in by God. And, I hate being ripped off. I think by the time we got back to the car, I had uttered every profanity known to man and some new versions currently being looked up by experts on sweardom everywhere. I clearly remember looking back at Graeme on the descent to find he was on his hands and knees - obviously fixing his crampons but for one fleeting moment, I thought he may have been greetin'. I thought I'd join in. Tears and snotters everywhere. An atrocious day.

I'm sure it's a great hill in summer or on a clear Winter day but it'll be a while before I'm back there again.

Dancing on Ice with the old lady of Monadhliath

http://www.walkhighlands.co.uk/Forum/download/file.php?id=9271

A couple of chaps that I had met from the Tarf bothy meet had kept in touch - Graeme D and Curlywurly. We had been emailing each other about this impending trip to Newtonmore and were champing at the bit. The weather had been cold and as we drove out of Newtonmore and up to Glen Banchor, we encountered a rather icy road. Curlywurly and I both got out and pushed the car with some rather adept driving skills from Graeme D - the things you do to avoid a mile at the start/end of a day, eh? When we finally got out at the car park, we were blasted with a rather brutal North wind that begun to refrigerate exposed flesh. It was going to be a cold one. Graeme had taken Lucy, his choco lab and she had done 4 Munros by the time we had walked 10 minutes along the Allt. When I say 'walked', conditions underfoot were dreadful with fresh snow on top of very dense ice. At times the going was fine but on several occasions, I was witness to the finest triple salchow by a hill-walker I have ever seen. Darren's double helix and subsequent landing did little to improve his mood (or elevation) but it did provide mirth to Graeme and I. Eventually we came to a point where we thought we should up towards the wee hut. The book says look out for the 'invisible' bridge - we looked and looked but true, it remained invisible so we fashioned a jump over the partially frozen Allt. As I had gone first, I had the chance to catch 2 dramatic action shot of my intrepid colleagues jumping the burn - they both made it much to my chagrin - am I the only one who is due a dooking on the hills? We rapidly gained height on the frozen snow and took a break in the stalker's hut - great condition and one could imagine staying a night in this with table and bench and a solid shelter. And whisky. Names and dates were scattered all over the hut ranging back to as far as 1938 - John B? Surely not!We headed up on the shoulder of A'Chailleach and as we approached the summit, the wind roared around us. Taking off gloves and stopping meant instant deep freeze and it was a painful break to snap photos - precisely when my battery run out - no, stop him! No matter, we descended down and up towards Carn Sgulain and within 45 minutes, we were at our 2nd summit. Would we go on and attempt the whole route? It was 1315, with perhaps another 4 a bit hours of sunlight. Condtions were good, the sun was shining and apart from poor Lucy's nipples being subjected to -20C windchill (she's a dog remember!), it was a good day. As tends to happen, as we headed along and over the tops, conditions deteriorated - visibility was null, the snow had started and I began to question if our decision had been the right one. The fence posts which run from Sgulain to Carn Ban are very welcome and we saw some absolutely massive overhangs of snow, which looked fantastic for burrowing into. If yer into that sort of thing; very Freudian I'm sure. At 1615, we eventually climbed up and on to Carn Dearg and were rewarded with an immensely satisfying view of the drop from the cairn off the NE face and into the valley below. We didn't deliberate too long - Lucy was whimpering to get down and in all truth, I am sure we were all beginning to suffer fatigue. The descent down allowed for some bahookie-racing as we slid down the slidy bits and enjoyed a good walk back out and along to the car. Taking 2 hours 20 minutes from the summit meant a long day in Winter but it also meant we could rattle off potential edibles that our respective partners would be making for us - curry, curried lard, lamb, deep-fried lamb, steak and anything which had a calorific intake of 4500 calories plus beer meant we salivated the last 2 km back to the car. It had been a long but very rewarding day and I was glad to share it with the two Tarfers.

Broad Cairn, Cairn Bannoch & Carn a'Choire Bhoideach

Booyacka! After a wee warm up on Bennachie the day before, I fancied something a little more tasty. The onerous drive from Aberdeenshire to Glasgow is always much better if driven via Braemar and there just so happens to be some hills over there. I drove down the wee road to Loch Muick and knew it was going to be a fine day. I actually felt a wee surge of adrenaline and excitement at the day's walking. The car park was chocca with folk no doubt heading for Lochnagar, which had looked amazing on the way to Ballater. I headed along the Loch Muick track and could see Broad Cairn in the distance. The Loch was amazingly still with not a breath of wind. It was still perishingly cold and I kept a good pace. I decided to head up the zig-zag path rather than walk the circuit path and up on to Broad Cairn. It wasn't long before my walk became high-level and I had a fine view down to Queen Victoria's retreat beside the Glas-Allt. What a fabulous place to reside. Tres jaloux. Ne'er mind, I pushed on and came across Sandy's seat; a wee bench beside a hut. I sat down and admired his view - rather serene. I began the final ascent up on to Broad Cairn and spotted my 2nd objective of the day not that far away - was it really a Munro? There didn't appear to be much up-and-down action (unlike Tiger Woods) however after a quick photo shoot of the crags and my 3rd objective in the distance, I walked on. The views just got better as I could see Braeriach et al in the distance. I clambered up on Cairn Bannoch and worked out my route over to Carn a'Choire Bhoideach. I skirted the bottom edge of Sagairt Mor and began a nice descent towards the burn. However, a wee icy bit of snow ensured a wee fall and I got to try out my ice-axe arrest. Nice to know it works in a slightly less serious situation. Should I don the crampons? I'd see how it was ascending the 3rd Munro. Nae too bad and while it was a struggle heading up on the summit, I got there. A rather flat and barren Munro with nae much character - not sure about the beautiful corrie tranlsation of the hill but heyho. I could now make out Lochnagar and it's cliffs. It would have looked amazing from Meikle Pap. I had to get going though and I began the walk down to the path via the Glas-Allt. Scared a wee feathered friend but it stood proud and accepted the offer of a photo. Time was pressing on and I was on texting duty to allay any fears. The Glencoe fatality the day before had made my other half a bit worried. Fair enough. The path down was treacherous in places due to ice. Care needed but eventually came back out on the land rover track and began the trek back. As the day wore on, the shadows lengthened and a pinky-orange tinge developed. The views back across Loch Muick during sunset were stunning and I could have stayed there for an age relishing the ever-changing hues. It was really breath-taking. What a fabulous day it had been.

From Tarf to Beinn Dearg

Having had little sleep, copious Highland Park and a good breakfast, we cleared out of the Tarf hotel at 0900. Initially, we weren't sure what we all wanted to do. I should have insisted that Janet and I head out along the glen as it had been a tough day the day before but the lure of a Corbett or a Munro tempted me on with the rest of the group. We walked a good bit along the Tarf river and with Graeme deciding (wisely) on the Corbett, the rest of us pushed on up to Beinn Dearg. It was going to be a long day. It was bitterly cold but would only get more petrifying. The ascent was slow and eventually the going got easier as we hit the snow line. Views back across to An Sgarsoch and Carn an Fhidleir were excellent and as we got on to the plateau before the summit, we could see as far as Braeriach. John B was a godsend through this day, all encouraging us with his pleasant demeanour and bonhomie. We eventually summited on Beinn Dearg - the wind from the North was about 25-30 mph and it really dropped the temperature. Again, we didn't hang about and we made off for the land rover track out. A good 5-6 mile walk ensued with heavy feet, tired muscles and we were walking on fumes. It was headtorch time once again as we walked down to Old Blair. John opted to get the car while we looked after the packs and that man came and picked us up. It had been a long, long two days but deep down it had been a worthwhile experience. Cheers to John Burgess for his encouragement. I was just glad to be warm and eating anything that wasn't dessicated.

Carn a Chlamain

Had been planning a jaunt up to this hill with some walkers off WalkHighlands.co.uk. The intention was to then head over and into the Tarf hotel for the evening before potentially another M-point the next day. Having started at 1000 from Old Blair of Tilt, we felt there would be enough time to get to the bothy with daylight. Although we initially made good time up the excellent land rover track to Marble Lodge and beyond, the ascent up on to Carn a Chlamain was particularly tough with a packweight of ca. 25 kilos. Coal and malt - where would we be without it? Higher up I suspect. However, the track up on to Chlamain was good and it was the last 150m up to the summit that was really hard-going. Conditions were getting colder and we didn't hang about at the top. A few photos (Graeme looking like he'd sat on something cold) and off down towards the Tarf hotel, through almost icy snow - the North face had obviously been blasted by winds and it made the snow quite tricky to get down. Once below the snow line, as dusk approached, it was headtorch time and we very thankful that John B had lit a fire at the bothy a couple of hours later. Aching backs, weary legs and thirsty throats. Only a fire and a glass of malt could cure that.

Beware the bite near Beinn Mhanach

Hill aficionados will be scratching their head at the title of my post. What could possibly go wrong on the benign Beinn Mhanach? I wanted to do this hill with a good pack on to prepare for the Tarf Bothy trip and I have to be honest in saying that I had been putting this Munro off for a while. It didn't appear to have much in the way of great views, crags and was a long walk-in. However, I parked up at 0830 beside the A82 and made good progress along the road passed some barking dogs (N.B. captive at this point). Also, came across a rather insidious looking sheep, which looked like it had been plugged into the mains. Not long after, I had to make a tip toe crossing over the Allt Kinglas and it wouldn't be the last time. You have to do this 7 times on the way into Beinn Mhanach and obviously on the way back out so a dry day is best, particularly for this hill. As it was, I was adept at stepping on stones without falling and the walk along the road was most enjoyable. The cliffs of Beinn a Chaisteal rise high on the right hand side and that was a Corbett I was definitely looking forward to. Beinn a Chuirn came into view at the viaduct and seemed a fair way off. I had been going a good while when I came across Duncan Ban MacIntyre's old howff - it appears to have been converted to a shearing site and there was a massive bag of wool in there. A good place for an emergency stop-off. What a wee place to have lived - so isolated. I never met a soul going in or out to this all day and for solitude, this is a great walk. I pushed on and began an ascending traverse up to Beinn Mhanach. Loch Lyon came into view as did Ben Challum but although it was covered in cloud, I could make out snow on its top. Would I experience that at the summit? No. It wasn't long before I entered clagville and I never saw anything of a view until I came back out of the cloud. I hit the summit cairn, took a wee coffee and sandwich and then re-traced my steps. At the fence-posts, I followed them down to the road. Uneventful, a Munro in the bag and what should be a nice easy amble home. And it was until I got past the last set of houses (the sign reads Fir Park). I never even heard the dirty little mutt until growling, it had its teeth firmly into my Scarpa boot and with a slight sphincter-twitch, I realised I was being mauled by some dark hound. It growled and snarled and I promptly kicked it in the face (sorry PETA lovers) and it relinquished its grip before running off quite unperturbed. I wasn't hurt but did think of others who may not be so lucky or have a fear of dogs. Be warned. I kept thinking if only I'd kicked in the scrot, it might have had to get prosthetic testes then when it dragged itself along the ground, you could say "Here Sparky!" Next stop - Tarf Bothy.