Beinn Bhreac and Beinn a Chaorainn

The dodgy knee had been playing up again but a long walk was needed to clear the rustiness of the body since its excessive calorie intake from the honeymoon. These two Munros appear to be non-descript judging by recent reports on WalkHighlands so I waited for a clear day and hoped that they would be kind. I love the walk into Glen Derry and the path from Derry Lodge wends its way into Glen Lui offering lovely views up to Beinn Mheadhoin and its summit tors. The path up on to Beinn Bhreac was boggy but I was surprised how quickly I was at the summit. I met an older chap up there who was obviously glad of the company and proceeded to tell me about his 3-day supply of food and his needs (at 55) to use an old empty milk bottle to pee into at night. Aye, eh, thanks for that. See ya! The 4km trek across the Moine Bealadh to my 2nd objective of the day and the cloud had lifted so that it never seemed to get any closer as I walked towards it. Beinn Mheadhoin looked cracking and at the summit, the impressive cloud banks over Strathdon provided a nice contrast to the wonderfully clear conditions I was experiencing. Just an amazing day being out again. The descent down to Glen Lui was quick and offered a nice view over to Coire Etchachan and the Hutchison memorial hut. I must stay there some day. The sun was shining, the stags roaring and my 10 mile trip back to the car was a joy. Okay, the last few kilometres were murder on the feet but pain is temporary and memories are forever!

Ben Avon and Beinn a Bhuird

Utterly stunning day out. Wild camped at 180009 beside the river Gairn and the walk up on to Ben Avon was tough but worth it for these babies. I was utterly blown away by Clach Choustaich, the massive tor - something quite magical about it and rarely visited by those who just bag Ben Avon and return. Ben Avon itself was fantastic and a wee scramble on to the highest point was fun. The Sneck is pretty tasty as are the views across to the Garbh Coire and then on to Beinn a Bhuird, it's quite a nice hill too. The descent back to Keiloch was looooooong though. Ben Avon has to be my favourite hill.

Wild camp by Sgurr Eilde Mor with Curlywurly

With some trepidation, Darren and I left the car at Kinlochleven and headed for this Munro, 7km east of our point of departure. Trepidation for me because I hadn't slept a wink last time out. However, on a balmy evening, we began the ascent taking a wrong turn or two initially but eventually finding the excellent stalkers path which took us up to the land rover track at 300m. Views back to Loch Leven were beautiful but it was bloody warm and the sweat was lashing down. Midges were biting too, the vampiric basas. Once we saw the excellent path wend up and over the shoulder of Sgurr Eilde Beag, we really began to enjoy the walk as it got cooler and while it wasn't quite an amazing sunset, it was good visibility which afforded views over to the Buachaille. Within 2 hours of leaving the car, we arrived at the loch below Sgurr Eilde Mor and found a suitable place to camp. Tents up, dinner down and the Ardbeg was proferred. It was a great spot, which had a nice view over to Binnein Beag as well as the vast space of Rannoch Moor opening up below us. We discussed many matters and I even got reception to phone Pumpy. I headed to bed at 2305 and got some SLEEP! Awoke at 0605, had a good breakfast and we began our Munro tally, heading up the steep shoulder of SEM by 0800. A small rock prow jutted off the summit and afforded a nice photo down to the loch. From here, we fairly pinged it down to the path which ultimately took us on to Binnein Beag. At 946m, it's almost 200m smaller than its bigger brother but its conical shape did confirm that small is beautiful. By 0930, we descended back down the path (Darren taking a small fall but no harm done) and picked up the heavy packs before the ascent of Binnein Mor. Had some bugger put rocks in our bags - they felt much heavier than before? As we climbed, we got stronger and we had this bad boy in the bag by 1110. With Na Gruigaichean on the homeward journey, we included this one too. However, the descent off this back to the car felt long and sustained and weary legs finally arrived back to the car, in sweltering conditions. Another fine trip ably sponsored by the wonderful Ardbeg.

Dr Pepper on the Aonachs - what's the worst that could happen?

If you're ever wondering how much caffeine there is in a can of Dr Pepper, there's 41mg. That's half the content in a can of Red Bull otherwise known as anxiety in a can. I had been looking to replicate a Kinley-esque camp and hoped to improve on my previous night's sleep when I last did a high camp (I'm free!) - 2 hours 10 minutes. This time, I ascended the shoulder of Aonach Beag and camped at a location just under the crags of Stob Coire Bhealaich - at 850m, the views were super - all the Mamores came into view and having done the bulk of ascent by 2200, I felt that a good night's sleep was in order - why I decided to drink Dr Pepper before bed rather than the fine bottle of Erdinger I had brought is beyond me. I settled down for sleep at 2345 (still light enough to take a couple of atmospheric photos) to begin the previously problematic task of sleep. And for 3 hours and 25 minutes I stared at the tent walls while periodically listening to a ptarmigan laughing and a sheep baaing in symphony - 'you fool human, you will not sleep tonight.' I couldn't even blame Kinley for my insomnia. I 'got up' at 0310 (still light, I don't think it got dark actually) and had my porridge before packing up and beginning my Munro trip at 0400. Someone once asked 'How do you avoid tourists on a hill?' My advice is replicate my trip and start your walking at 0400, at 850m. It was unseasonally cold and once on to the ridge proper, the wind was biting. Unfortunately, at 1050m, I walked into cloud and saw no more of Aonach Beag aside from the crags disappearing off to my right, still full of massive snow cornices. There is a path which you can follow but I headed straight up on to Aonach Beag as it began to circumvent the hill - don't know where it was going - anyone know? I don't recall passing a cairn at the top but I stood at the highest point on a snow bank before continuing on to Aonach Mor. After quite a steep descent, a gradual incline over a km of walking led to the massive cairn and odd ski pole. At 0550, I had bagged two Munros and began my descent - queer. Funnily enough, I never met a soul on the hill at this point. That's because they were SLEEPING! What you should be doing ye foo. I intended to head off Aonach Mor via a narrow arete and found a cairn, which indicated the start of the descent. WARNING! This path is very tricky to descend in places due to loose soil/stones - care needed. However, its steepness means a quick descent to the bealach at 830m. From here, it was an enjoyable enough return to the car, where I attempted to stay awake on my drive back to Glasgow. Dr Pepper - what's the worst that could happen? NAE SLEEP!

Dr Pepper on the Aonachs - what's the worst that could happen?

If you're ever wondering how much caffeine there is in a can of Dr Pepper, there's 41mg. That's half the content in a can of Red Bull otherwise known as anxiety in a can. I had been looking to replicate a Kinley-esque camp and hoped to improve on my previous night's sleep when I last did a high camp (I'm free!) - 2 hours 10 minutes. This time, I ascended the shoulder of Aonach Beag and camped at a location just under the crags of Stob Coire Bhealaich - at 850m, the views were super - all the Mamores came into view and having done the bulk of ascent by 2200, I felt that a good night's sleep was in order - why I decided to drink Dr Pepper before bed rather than the fine bottle of Erdinger I had brought is beyond me. I settled down for sleep at 2345 (still light enough to take a couple of atmospheric photos) to begin the previously problematic task of sleep. And for 3 hours and 25 minutes I stared at the tent walls while periodically listening to a ptarmigan laughing and a sheep baaing in symphony - 'you fool human, you will not sleep tonight.' I couldn't even blame Kinley for my insomnia. I 'got up' at 0310 (still light, I don't think it got dark actually) and had my porridge before packing up and beginning my Munro trip at 0400. Someone once asked 'How do you avoid tourists on a hill?' My advice is replicate my trip and start your walking at 0400, at 850m. It was unseasonally cold and once on to the ridge proper, the wind was biting. Unfortunately, at 1050m, I walked into cloud and saw no more of Aonach Beag aside from the crags disappearing off to my right, still full of massive snow cornices. There is a path which you can follow but I headed straight up on to Aonach Beag as it began to circumvent the hill - don't know where it was going - anyone know? I don't recall passing a cairn at the top but I stood at the highest point on a snow bank before continuing on to Aonach Mor. After quite a steep descent, a gradual incline over a km of walking led to the massive cairn and odd ski pole. At 0550, I had bagged two Munros and began my descent - queer. Funnily enough, I never met a soul on the hill at this point. That's because they were SLEEPING! What you should be doing ye foo. I intended to head off Aonach Mor via a narrow arete and found a cairn, which indicated the start of the descent. WARNING! This path is very tricky to descend in places due to loose soil/stones - care needed. However, its steepness means a quick descent to the bealach at 830m. From here, it was an enjoyable enough return to the car, where I attempted to stay awake on my drive back to Glasgow. Dr Pepper - what's the worst that could happen? NAE SLEEP!

An Socach, Glen Ey

After an enjoyable enough workshop in Aberdeen, I returned via the butcher's at Braemar, the chippy (yummy) and parked up at Baddoch road end on the A93. I had planned to ascend via Sgor Mor and then round to An Socach - the path was excellent but not before I had time to get very close to some white ponies, which were asleep. Lovely looking creatures. It was a fairly uneventful outing though I did manage to scare the crap out of a ptarmigan and her young. Cue one angry male ptarmigan who cajoled and ushered me away from the helpless chicks. Rather unsettling. The ground between the false top and the actual summit was hard-going, very bouldery and made for some awkward walking. At the summit, I chilled out, phoned Pumpy then came down the 'normal' route, which was fun as I more or less ran down to the land rover track. A nice walk back along the Baddoch track and I was back to the car in under 4 hours. An uncomplicated tick and an enjoyable stretch.

Beinn Alligin

My 2nd day in the North-West - plan A had been to go for Liathach but the vagaries of Scottish weather meant that with snow forecast (it's May FFS!), I didn't fancy doing Liathach on anything except a clear day. I therefore chose Beinn Alligin - how glad was I? It turned out to be a stunning day in the hills and I was simply blown away by the magnificence of this mountain. From the atmospheric, silent amphitheatre of being in the corrie below Tom na Gruagaich to the beautifully poised summit cairn, with the plunging cliffs of Toll a Mhadaidh, to the quite stunning Sgurr Mor. Then there is the chasm of the Eag Dubh. I won't bother going on anymore (though I am) except to say that by the time I was on Sgurr Mor, the snow was fairly dinging it doon. All views were obliterated and I had a made a good decision to leave Liathach for another day - on the occasion I did see it, it was quite a wonderful set of peaks and jagged edges to look at - Sabatier would have been proud. I had really looked forward to going over the Horns of Alligin and worried slightly when a party of three passed me on the opposite route saying they had given them a miss, opting to take the path below the Horns - could it really be that bad? I decided to go over them and was glad to have done so. The airy, scramble really is the way to go and just added to the experience that I was having possibly one of my best days on the hill. Also, the fluctuating cloud/snow conditions afforded some magnificent views over the Horns. Then, there is the views across to Beinn Dearg - what a majestic Corbett it is - very impressive. Unfortunately, it all ended too soon and I was descending quite steep ground back to the glen. No need to further expand on this day, just look at the photos. Astounded on Alligin.

Meall nan Eun, Stob Coir an Albannaich and Glas Bheinn Mhor

It was that bugger Kinley's fault. Here I was halfway up a mountain on a Friday night, drinking Talisker, afraid to go out of my tent and pee because of the driving rain and wind at 500m. Did I mention there were views only of my feet, shrivelled genitalia and clag? Where were the clear skies and amazing sunset? I'd seen it often enough on Kinley's reports on www.WalkHighlands.co.uk and I wanted the Kinley experience! Was I the anti-Kinley? He was the epitome of the ultimate high camp - I was the epitome of drizzle. He must be a demon on photo-shop, I thought. I settled down for the evening and attempted to get some sleep on a sloping mound (Lon Tubhaidh) a few clicks N of Stob Coir an Albannaich, my 2nd objective for hopefully a better day tomorrow. Curlywurly was settled down for the evening in his tent, watching a film on his IPhone. Lucky basa. We agreed a 0600 start would be good and we would make a decision then to either descend or go with our intended route of doing Meall nan Eun, Stob Coir an Albannaich, then Glas Bheinn Mhor. I dozed off at 2230 and after a few hours sleep awoke at 2303. Oh, give me a break! I must have been lucky if I got 2 hours kip - I consoled myself with nothing except the fact that I was probably warming a few worms up. The minutes ticked by. My arse was numb. However, at 0500 I peeped out of the tent and saw that we had VIEWS! Breakfast down, tents packed we got the blood going and a quick look up to SCanA provided hope for the day ahead.

With a good starting point, we were up on to the bealach between Meall Odhar and Meall nan Eun in no-time and the latter peaked out with the cloud clearing. Kinley's no a bad chap efter a'. By 0715, we had bagged Meall Nan Eun and our 2nd hill of the day looked quite spectacular but it would be a sod to go over the Corbett Top of Meall Tarsuinn, down and then back up SCaA. However, the cloud was really lifting and Curlywurly and I really began to enjoy our day. Quite an awkward trek over to the 2nd Munro and in bad conditions, it would be easy to get lost. Once on to the main ridge, we were wowed by what looked like a conical peak which you couldn't appreciate from the climb up from the other side. By this point, Bidean looked stunning in the distance and there was a considerable amount of snow still on it. However, If I'm being honest (and it seems that I am) I was beginning to tire already with the heavy pack on my back, Jack. The last pull up on to the 2nd Munro of the day was tough and I was glad to get the main bulk of ascent done. How was Curlywurly doing? Having just done a Munromarathon a couple of weeks before, I knew he was fitter than me - that kind of thing can be psychologically difficult to contend with. Must keep going though - must think Russian, must think Kinley... . We didn't stop for long and began the awkward descent (due to fresh snow) off SCanA down to the bealach before Glas Bheinn Mhor - it looked quite cracking and so did Ben Starav in the distance - Curlywurly was delighted with what Glen Etive had to offer as it had been his first time down here and he would be back to bag that big boy. Alliteration on Albannaich? Get the hill outta here! As we started ascending GBM, I became concerned that I was really going to struggle with this but we had a good pace and before we long, we were up on the ridge - at this point, we spoke about work and all those work-shy buggers who make your working life a misery - why can't these people be given their marching orders straight off Ben Nevis? Twa old codgers, we were. I remember being downt mine... However, we bagged our 3rd hill of the day and made plans for a descent by the Allt Nam Meirleach - initially a brilliant path but it does get boggy further down. A wee Scotty dog seemed to take a liking to Darren and would have followed him back if it wasn't for the fact that his companion smelled like a rotten cabbage - I was honking! Well, I don't mind saying but by this point I was really running on fumes. Did I mention I was buggered? Darren seemed quite tired too so in a strange way, I didn't feel so bad. A little bit of schadenfreude never hurt anyone. As we approached the cottage at Coiletir, we saw a sign telling us to ascend by a fence around the cottage - we were less than happy as we were both exhausted but we battered on and with some relief, got back to the car just in time to find out that Man U had won - Darren was happy. I was totally fooked. However, looking back today, I did thoroughly enjoy myself and a wild camp is an ideal way to start the day - maybe Kinley has something after all...sure Kenneth Williams would have approved - oh, Matron!

Blasted on Bynack More

I was going to write a separate post on this but feel that Graeme has done this excellent testimony to the various hill-crimes perpetrated yesterday.

http://www.walkhighlands.co.uk/Forum/viewtopic.php?f=9&t=4023

I do recall asking Graeme as we entered the snow-line "How's your hill-sense?" We both agreed it was pretty good. The climb up to the summit was a lot steeper than I had envisaged. Add to this, a ferocious wind, coruscating snow and hail and we were lucky if we waited 30 seconds at the summit. However, gone were the wrinkles on my face - in fact, gone was my face. I felt at one point that it was being ripped off by tiny needles being driven in by God. And, I hate being ripped off. I think by the time we got back to the car, I had uttered every profanity known to man and some new versions currently being looked up by experts on sweardom everywhere. I clearly remember looking back at Graeme on the descent to find he was on his hands and knees - obviously fixing his crampons but for one fleeting moment, I thought he may have been greetin'. I thought I'd join in. Tears and snotters everywhere. An atrocious day.

I'm sure it's a great hill in summer or on a clear Winter day but it'll be a while before I'm back there again.

Dancing on Ice with the old lady of Monadhliath

http://www.walkhighlands.co.uk/Forum/download/file.php?id=9271

A couple of chaps that I had met from the Tarf bothy meet had kept in touch - Graeme D and Curlywurly. We had been emailing each other about this impending trip to Newtonmore and were champing at the bit. The weather had been cold and as we drove out of Newtonmore and up to Glen Banchor, we encountered a rather icy road. Curlywurly and I both got out and pushed the car with some rather adept driving skills from Graeme D - the things you do to avoid a mile at the start/end of a day, eh? When we finally got out at the car park, we were blasted with a rather brutal North wind that begun to refrigerate exposed flesh. It was going to be a cold one. Graeme had taken Lucy, his choco lab and she had done 4 Munros by the time we had walked 10 minutes along the Allt. When I say 'walked', conditions underfoot were dreadful with fresh snow on top of very dense ice. At times the going was fine but on several occasions, I was witness to the finest triple salchow by a hill-walker I have ever seen. Darren's double helix and subsequent landing did little to improve his mood (or elevation) but it did provide mirth to Graeme and I. Eventually we came to a point where we thought we should up towards the wee hut. The book says look out for the 'invisible' bridge - we looked and looked but true, it remained invisible so we fashioned a jump over the partially frozen Allt. As I had gone first, I had the chance to catch 2 dramatic action shot of my intrepid colleagues jumping the burn - they both made it much to my chagrin - am I the only one who is due a dooking on the hills? We rapidly gained height on the frozen snow and took a break in the stalker's hut - great condition and one could imagine staying a night in this with table and bench and a solid shelter. And whisky. Names and dates were scattered all over the hut ranging back to as far as 1938 - John B? Surely not!We headed up on the shoulder of A'Chailleach and as we approached the summit, the wind roared around us. Taking off gloves and stopping meant instant deep freeze and it was a painful break to snap photos - precisely when my battery run out - no, stop him! No matter, we descended down and up towards Carn Sgulain and within 45 minutes, we were at our 2nd summit. Would we go on and attempt the whole route? It was 1315, with perhaps another 4 a bit hours of sunlight. Condtions were good, the sun was shining and apart from poor Lucy's nipples being subjected to -20C windchill (she's a dog remember!), it was a good day. As tends to happen, as we headed along and over the tops, conditions deteriorated - visibility was null, the snow had started and I began to question if our decision had been the right one. The fence posts which run from Sgulain to Carn Ban are very welcome and we saw some absolutely massive overhangs of snow, which looked fantastic for burrowing into. If yer into that sort of thing; very Freudian I'm sure. At 1615, we eventually climbed up and on to Carn Dearg and were rewarded with an immensely satisfying view of the drop from the cairn off the NE face and into the valley below. We didn't deliberate too long - Lucy was whimpering to get down and in all truth, I am sure we were all beginning to suffer fatigue. The descent down allowed for some bahookie-racing as we slid down the slidy bits and enjoyed a good walk back out and along to the car. Taking 2 hours 20 minutes from the summit meant a long day in Winter but it also meant we could rattle off potential edibles that our respective partners would be making for us - curry, curried lard, lamb, deep-fried lamb, steak and anything which had a calorific intake of 4500 calories plus beer meant we salivated the last 2 km back to the car. It had been a long but very rewarding day and I was glad to share it with the two Tarfers.